Have you ever found yourself ready a blog post and suddenly feeling really negative? Perhaps you're feeling like you're not keeping up, that your life doesn't look like what's presented in front of you or worse, you feel a rising tide of jealousy about what this blogger is achieving.
There I said it and I'm saying it because it really is ok. I have a really specific memory of crying about a post I read explaining how to sew quiet time books for your child that led to me deciding I wasn't doing enough as a mum (I was). I've stared in hopeless dismay at my tights, with a big fat hole in the toe, as I read about yet another great stylish outfit that I could add to my wardrobe. I've also sat feeling like maybe I don't really like a particular blogger because they're too close to the kind of blogger I would so love to be.
You want to know what I do when I come up against that?
First, I stop reading. Seriously, stop feeding that negative feeling. I am a big believer that if you are in a pattern that's making you feel negative, you have the power to stop that. The second I feel this ugly side of blogging, I hit delete and put myself on a little time out.
Then I do what I do best, I use it for good. My golden rule in hosting a blog or podcast is do what inspires you and even if that inspiration originates from something negative, you can totally use that for some great content! There's so many ways you can turn a negative into a positive so here's what I do:
1. Acknowledge it and understand it- Is there something in that blog post that you actually really strive for? Identify it and think about how you can use it to improve your own blogging. For example, I have a real need for better photography and after years of looking longingly at others blogs, I've signed up to a photography class with super blogger Emily Quinton. I can't wait!
2. Let it go- Time to make like a Disney girl and sing your heart out. Stop being your own worst critic and stop comparing your worst bits to someone else's best. You don't know what's going on behind the scenes. I personally create the most exciting and dynamic content I can muster when I'm feeling low and life is a little hard. I choose to embrace the ugly and walk a more positive path wherever else I can. My blog is my happy place even when behind me is chaos and destruction and I would hope that no one ever thinks that my life is perfect. Trust me dear readers, it really isn't.
3. Collaborate- That person you're feeling ugly about, are they actually someone you secretly admire? Why not reach out and invite that inspiration into your digital home? My working motto is 'collaboration not competition' and if someone is doing something great, I will often reach out and let them know that. We all are stronger as a whole so it's time to join up!
4. Do what you love- Maybe it's time to stop looking over our shoulders and comparing ourselves. Bake that cake, switch off the laptop and do whatever makes you happy. It's just the internet after all.
5. Look elsewhere- There's a particular kind of blogger that always triggers me and I've accepted that I need a voice that's got just the right mix of inspirational/ aspirational content with a little drop of humanity. I can remember reading posts from Kelle at Enjoying the Small Things where she admitted that she wasn't feeling good about her ability as a mother. It wasn't so raw that it felt awkward to read but it made me see that we all put our best foot forward and it's ok to let people know when you stumble. (Kelle btw is a personal content hero of mine, go read. Take popcorn. You'll be there a while)
So tell me about your ugly for this week's link drop!