I appear to have misplaced my words. As a story teller and professional writer, you can probably imagine how much this distresses me. I've been reluctant to journal, avoiding work and staring at the 'add post' button for days on this blog. 

As a writer and editor I fuss with words. I practice how they sound on the tip of my tongue and I almost certainly have favourites ('ponder' ranks highly in case you were wondering). Not having words is one of the deadliest of afflictions that I can think of. 

In the absence of words, I often turn to my trusted camera and look for moments in the day that might trigger a cascade of words I might not have thought of otherwise. I know things have got really bad when I'm not looking. 

I haven't been looking. 

So today, when I saw a daisy, collected by my daughter, and I wondered how to snap it I felt a glimmer of hope. The despondency might lift yet and I might achieve something this week. Anything would be pretty good at this point, I have to be honest. There's a press release and bio burning a hole in my head, an article that needs tweaking and I need to say something on here right?

Well apparently my daughter's first treasure was the catalyst. An afternoon that was meant to be dire thanks to a predicted downpour was saved by unexpected sun. The rain just never came. So we took our chances and zipped to the swings near the house (just in case, let's not be silly now) and the Tot walked up and down steps for 15 minutes. This is her current favourite thing to do and I'm happy to indulge it because if a skill is worth having, it's worth practising, right? 

Anyway, on the way home she notices daisies for the first time. She toddler squats (you know the one) and examines them for a long time. I pluck one and show her how soft it feels, the colours and the ways you can twirl it in your fingers. Delighted, she carried it all the way home and prompted me to pick up my much maligned camera. 

Funny little things these toddlers. They have a habit of showing you the way. 

Spring.... Growth.... Change

When you're a parent, I swear that the thing that makes you feel the most 'different' from your friends who don't have children is definitely weekends. While everyone else slows down or fires up, your pace continues. Snacks, nappy changes, naps (maybe), meals, play and all the usual things that structure your day don't just stop. Yet your head is still in this place where you think of weekends as 'time off to do what I want'. 

It's taken some time to navigate this path and find a balance but the last few weekends have reassured me that we've turned some kind of symbolic point in the Playful Tot's life and things have just gotten a little bit easier. Trips out are easier even if they do seem to require an alarming amount of paraphernalia. 


I was watching the Tot pootle around the walled gardens on one of our local parks,knitting and snapping away with my camera when suddenly I realised I'd found a way towards more recognisable weekends. What makes me happy? Playing with my camera, knitting and being outside. I looked for other signs that life is settling into a slightly less frantic pace and ah yes, blog reading, pouring through recipe books and having time to lace up my high tops seem to be back in the mix. When did that happen?

You realise that life changes when you have a child but how it changes seems like a mystery until you're in the thick of it. Marrying up your needs, your babies needs and any kind of social life seems near impossible for months. Then, just as suddenly, it's Spring and you're able to be outside more and the little one is toddling so doesn't need to be constantly held. She's got her own things to do now so activities centre around just getting out the house and looking for.... diggers. Our current obsession is diggers. She's also getting used to the idea that sometimes Mummy sits somewhere with a knitting bag or a book and she can bomb about with the Giant and it'll be ok because I'll be right there when she gets back. Sometimes we tag and I go exploring with her while the Giant reads and thinks about important things. 

So what did I choose to work on during this Spring morning? My Hickory Sweater by Cecily Glowik Macdonald. It's clipping along nicely on a slow and steady simmer. I like the pattern writing as it's clear and easy to follow which I need when I get so little knitting time. I've managed to pick this up each time with minimal fuss and the Debbie Bliss CashMerino is snuggly to work with. I doubt I'll have this done any time soon but it feels ok.

Sometimes it's ok to wait for things to get really good. You know?


psssst..... Have you entered the Botanical Knits 2 Giveaway yet? There's still time!